When it comes to co-parenting, communication is key. It is important to ensure that you are communicating effectively with your co-parent as you continue to be the best parent you can be. Good co-parenting communication can support a functional and positive relationship with your child’s other parent. Bad co-parenting communication can put your child in the middle of adult disputes, create hostility with your co-parent, and even come back to haunt you in litigation. The following five tips can help you establish, or improve, your co-parenting communication:

  1. Establish a Method. Choose the form of communication that works best for you and your co-parent moving forward and use this form to communicate as you raise your child together. I always recommend the mode of communication be in written form, to minimize misunderstandings or disputes down the line. You may choose to communicate via text or e-mail, and only call in the event of an emergency. You may choose to utilize co-parenting communication applications such as Our Family Wizard or Talking Parents, which offer many useful tools aside from just messaging. Whatever you choose, ensure that you and your co-parent are on the same page with the preferred form and stick to it.
  2. Put Your Child First. While some co-parenting relationships are strained, or even down right tense, do your best to focus on why you are communicating in the first place – to give your shared child the best life possible. Keep communication focused on your child. There is no need to communicate about any other topics.
  3. Be Consistent. Be prompt, informative, and responsive. If there is a major decision to be made for your child, communicate about it early and clearly. Be prepared to answer questions and have a dialogue. Review and respond to new communications from your co-parent with regularity so nothing falls through the cracks.
  4. Be Considerate. Everyone has bad days. Do your best to not take it out on your co-parent in moments of stress. Endeavor to show them the grace and patience you would hope they would show you. No matter what, this co-parent is one you will always have a relationship with as you parent your child together. Do your part to try to make that relationship a positive or, at least, a functional one.
  5. Seek Help. If the communication is going sideways, talk to your attorney. Your attorney can help you make a plan for what to do next. This may look like engaging in mediation, filing a motion, attending co-parenting therapy, involving a parent coordinator, and more. Know there are tools to help you and allow your attorney to help you pick the best one for you.

Colleen M. Breems, Partner
For more information on Ms. Breems, please visit: www.beermannlaw.com/team/colleen-m-breems.