Mediation in divorce provides an alternative to the adversarial court process. Spouses utilize the services of a neutral third party to assist them in reaching an agreement customized to the circumstances of their family. Mediation is attractive to spouses because it is non-adversarial, confidential, and allows for flexibility in which the parties themselves, and not a court, determine the outcome of issues affecting their family. How you approach and P.R.E.P. for mediation may maximize your use of time and valuable resources while in the mediation process.
Preparation: Prior to the commencement of mediation, you should obtain the financial documents necessary to create a balance sheet that lists the assets and debts of both spouses. You should also have income documents for you and your spouse including, but not limited to, recent pay stubs or pay information and the last two or three years of income tax returns and attachments such as W2s, 1099, and K-1s. If you do not have access to this information, your attorney will assist you in obtaining it. You will also want to raise any unique issues with your attorney prior to mediation such as whether there are claims for non-marital property (generally property acquired prior to the marriage, or through gift, inheritance, or descent) or dissipation, which is money spent for a non-marital purpose (generally gambling or a paramour).
Reasonableness: Although participants are attracted to mediation for the variety of reasons mentioned above, the goal is always the same: to reach an agreement and avoid the adversarial process. In order to be successful, you and your spouse must be reasonable. If you and your spouse approach the process with educated and reasonable goals for your family that fall within the range of what a court may determine, you are both maximizing the opportunity to reach an agreement. If one or both of you approach the process with a goal that would not be in the best interests of your family and falls outside the range of potential outcomes, your opportunity for success is less likely.
Expectations: While the mediator’s role is to facilitate the conversation to assist you and your spouse in reaching an agreement, your attorney’s role is not only to advocate for you during the mediation process but to manage your expectations by educating you on the law and the range of outcomes when the law is applied to the facts of your case. Prior to mediation, you should not only have an understanding about the actual process of mediation, but a basic understanding of the law as to how it applies to the circumstances of your case. The most common issues to be addressed in a divorce case include parenting, spousal support, child support, and property allocation. Your attorney will educate you on the law relevant to those issues.
By way of example, you will want to know the factors a court would use to allocate parental responsibilities and parenting time as well as how spousal support and child support are determined in your jurisdiction. You will also want to understand the factors that a court may rely upon for property allocation between spouses.
Patience: Mediation is a process. In order for a mediator and the spouses to successfully navigate the process, the mediator must understand each party’s goals and concerns. Trust for the mediation process as well as trust between the parties and the mediator must be established. Developing trust and determining where the goals and concerns of the parties align or do not align takes time.
Notwithstanding, if you and your spouse P.R.E.P. and have the necessary information, are reasonable, and have expectations of outcomes that are supported by the law and facts of your family, the process will be more efficient.
Brooke I. Golding, Partner
For more on Ms. Golding, please visit: www.beermannlaw.com/team/brooke-i-golding.
