As a divorce attorney counseling those that are in search of answers, it pains me that one of the most common responses to questions from my clients is: “It depends.” While obviously frustrating, the answer is not evasive. Most of the time, it is really the only response that will suffice.

Why? Because there are many factors that shape the answer to questions like: “How long will this take?” “How much will this cost?” “When can I move out of the house?” “When can I have some peace of mind?!”

In my professional opinion, there are 3 main reasons which make ‘it depends,’ ‘it depends:’

  • The Courts and The Law. There are few scenarios under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act that provide the uniform answer to any specific legal question as applicable to any specific case. That’s because the Courts are afforded significant discretion in deciding matters relative to asset division, spousal support, child-related issues, and even temporary issues like deadlines, discovery, and pre-trial practice. The issues in your case, the Judge you are assigned and the strategy you employ to achieve your objectives can all lead to an “it depends” answer.
  • Emotions. Divorce is a trauma and different people experience and process trauma on different timelines and in different ways. In some cases, logic and reason fall the by wayside in favor of more emotion-based positions. Example: spending $5,000 in attorneys fees to try to recoup $3,500 worth of furniture. As lawyers, we cannot control the other party, the other lawyers and/or the positions they take, thus, a careful analysis of ‘picking your battles’ leads to your ‘it depends’ answer.
  • As it goes without saying, everyone is different. In a divorce, some are resentful, some are angry, some are empathetic, some are sad – all which can impact the positions people take, their cooperation in the process and their ability to make decisions. Add to that, complications of addictions, personality disorders and other mental health issues can all contribute to the vagueness of “it depends” and how that impacts the process.

I very much believe in the ‘knowledge is power’ mindset. I think it is important for those going through a divorce, or even post-divorce, to have realistic expectations about what the other side looks like. However, because of the variability case-by-case and person-by-person, in representing my clients, I try to shift the focus from what may be to what is. What can we control? What can we do to be proactive, efficient and prepared? I find that if clients get bogged down in hypotheticals and what may be, it becomes overwhelming, more costly, and worrisome – coincidentally, all of which just creates more reason to answer: ‘it depends.’

Jordan D. Rosenberg, Partner

For more on Mr. Rosenberg, please visit:
www.beermannlaw.com/team/jordan-d-rosenberg.